Meta Game: Bloodborne
by Raxychaz
Summary: Who cares as to how, all that matters is the fact that he is in this beast infested city. Though the Messengers are cute as fuck, and the Doll is DTF, so it was good for the moment, that insight though...A crazy trip. I.M:MenmaXBloodborne.
1. Chapter 1

**This one sorta needs you to read Imagine Magic: Menma, but also doesn't. It all depends if you want context for half the shit he's gonna do, or if you like being incredibly confused.**

 **That was a not so subtle way of saying get your arse over to my profile and read it first.**

 **Start.**

Deep within the city of Yharnam was a little clinic, well 'little' in terms that it was rarely used nowadays, due to the beast plague and all just straight up offing motherfuckers left and right. It was actually big as all fuckin' hell, like mansion big.

Currently sitting on an operating table near the front door of the clinic was a man clad in foreign clothes, the nurse/doctor/attendant lady, Isoefka fretted over his open wounds, quickly sewing them back after disinfecting them with the poise and grace of a trained professional, the sun was going down in the city, that meant the Hunt was coming this made her uneasy, she could certainly shield herself within the clinic from the beasts, but those outside...

No. It was best some survived, lest the plague take them all.

The Hunter's will deal with it...But Iosefka would admit she hadn't seen any newcomers recently, aside from that Gilbert fellow, and whilst that usually didn't mean much in terms of volume of beast slayers, it did come into play with how few there were in the city already, she could count 2 at most that she knew of, the crow woman, and the man from the church.

And they didn't even give their names...To her anyway.

Iosefka sighed, dropping her bloodied tools into a tray aside the bed, pulling her gloves off and checking her patients pulse, taking a moment to drink his features in. He had roughly shoulder length hair, though it was strange and stuck up randomly, like one of those quilled creatures she'd read about from foreign lands, spiky was the best way to put it in layman's terms. His jawline was angular but strong, he had a certain presence to him, the doctor couldn't really figure what exactly it was.

He had three markings on each cheek rising from his jaw to his cheekbones, warpaint perhaps? Not unheard of, though he was donned in what she could assume was a wealthy travelers attire, black hood with a slight shawl over his shoulders, a white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up currently, his previously opened maroon pinstripe vest was now buttoned up to keep his modesty, she was a doctor not some deviant.

He wore loose fitting black slacks, those she was familiar with at least, and black and white...Cloth? Shoes, she'd never seen such shoes before, the white covering over the toe and sole was rubbery in nature, but surely he wouldn't have rubber on his shoes? That was preposterous.

She left his side, patting his shoulder gently as a silent gesture of hope that he would make it through to heal properly, she retired to her room, not far from the clinic but far enough that she could have privacy.

 **Crazy Shit**

Menma could barely make out any shapes, let alone the figure that had just left his side, a lot of white, a dress maybe? A robe would probably be more accurate. Menma faded in and out of consciousness, not bothering to care for who was in the room with him.

He closed his eyes but almost immediately felt like they'd been forced back open, "...Oh yes, Paleblood." Said a voice, an old man, Menma's bleary gaze rolled over to the man, he was in a wheelchair, a lantern hanging off the back, sporting a top hat, for...Some reason. "Well, you've come to the right place, Yharnam is the home of blood ministration..."

" _No..._ " Warned Menma in his mind, like an agitated parent who was watching their child do something previously forbidden just to get a reaction.

"You need only unravel is mystery...But where's an outsider like yourself to begin?" Questioned the old man, coming every so much closer and as he did Menma felt his own bile rise, annoyance, rage, mostly confusion. A sprinkling of mad glee.

" _I swear to god life, if you have put me in fucking_ _ **Bloodborne**_ _we will be having words._ "

"Easy, with a little Yharnam blood of your own..." The man leant forward revealing his eyes were probably gone, with patches of cloth hanging over them.

" _MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A CUMSLUTTING WHORE!_ " The man pricked the Uzumaki's finger, drawing a single drop of blood that fell onto an old piece of parchment, his name seemingly inscribing itself, Menma did allow his rage a moment to subside, this was actually pretty cool, he'd never seen the 'contract' part.

He blocked out the rest, the bloody wolfy that burst into flames, the Messengers, who were actually just hugging the shit out of him, that was cute. He loved the Messengers, they were adorable as fuck. Leaning up and hopping off the table Menma sighed softly, pulling back the hood of the Foreign Attire.

"Looks pretty good on me I reckon." He thought aloud, but he immediately ran through various ideas, if this was Bloodborne, and he had 100%'ed this bitch, he could fix the parts that pissed him off, namely...

"Where's that fuckin' summons?" He thought aloud, sifting through the clinic a folded letter sat on a nearby operating table, a red wax sigil sealing it, ' _To the swirling Hunter._ ' Oh that was amusing. Maybe he could get more out of the Queen this time, rather than a fucking emote.

Thanks Fromsoft, you slack cunts.

Shaking his head Menma opened the doors that led into the mansion section of the clinic, "Iosefka!..." He called, he heard a sharp jump, like he'd scared someone and they hit a wall or something, good that meant she was still she, instead of the imposter. He never could figure out what exactly happened to the poor woman.

"Ah, you're walking around. I didn't expect that..." Admitted the woman's voice, she opened a nearby door, hmm...She was supposed to be in the top, near some kind of library, was this her room? "How did you know my name? I've never seen you about Yharnam before." She admitted,

"Magic." He answered easily, making her brow raise, "That's code for, I have no answer that will make sense to you." She smiled at him, amused, "By the way...There was this old man, rattlin' on about 'Paleblood'." She turned pale, actually. Quite pale, she quickly took him aside and ushered him out towards the front door, "This is awkward..." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry but you'll have to leave, I cannot rightly explain in a way you'll like...Hunter." Really? That's all it took to be a Hunter? Get some freaky god-juice and bam? Well, being a Hunter and being linked to the dream were two different things, you can be a hunter without being linked, but you can't be linked without becoming a hunter.

Fun times ahead.

He was going to fuck that doll. And no-one was stopping him.

Gherman could fucking watch for all he cared, that doll pussy was his.

 **Isoefka's Clinic**

Oh cool, words. Menma rolled his eyes, hearing the door shut behind him, before it quickly opened once more, she grabbed his arm, making him turn and handed him a vial, with a small cloth over the top, "Your bloodvial?" He asked, interestedly, seeing the pressure pad on the top and the needle point sticking out under the cloth.

"It is the most help I can give you anymore...I'm sorry. But it's all I can do." She said, before closing the door, it gave a harsh _chnk_ signaling a lock. Menma sighed, twirling the bloodvial in his fingers as he walked down the old steps and into the lower, abandoned section of the clinic.

"So how does the inventory work?" He pondered, only for the vial to vanish. "You're fucking kidding me..." He murmured, "Iosefka's bloodvial." He stated clearly, once more it appeared. "Quick Bar." It fitted onto his belt without an issue, just kinda hovering there. "That is ridiculous, but convenient." He shaking his head and fluffing up his hair with his hands he looked at the werewolf-beast thing chowing down on some delicious corpse.

"…" Menma glided across the floors, all sound he once made silenced and muffled, he rose his hand into the air, in a moment it flashed a brilliant silver and he drove it into the wolf's back, it hunched over and was ready for some tender loving.

But Menma wasn't going to be tender to this wolf's booty, no. Instead he flexed out his fingers in a clawing motion and tore out a good chunk of its innards, it quickly bled out onto the ground, echo's of its strength drifting into the confused sorcerer.

"Oh god, this is so many levels of stupid." Mostly because he remembered a great amount of shoddy hitboxes and was less than pleased to see how that would end up. If this little universe worked on the true mechanics of the game, or just some. He'd be fine with some.

Thinking for a moment he attempted to summon up a flux of his own mana, his fingers being coated with a blue sheen, "Oh thank you Darkness!" Dusting off his hands he dispersed the built up magic, "So I can use magic, I'll wait 'till later to see how much. Let's just get to the dream so I can get all up in that doll." It then occurred to him he lacked Insight, mother fucker.

 **A Short Trip Through the Streets Later.**

A flick of the lamp and off he went to the dream, it was...Misty. He wanted to say misty, foggy also worked. It was a good deal thicker than the game, though that was probably due to limitations of the hardware and not the fact that he was _in_ the bastard now.

Picking himself up and brushing himself off Menma sighed softly, stepping forward and watching as Messengers popped out of the steps, holding a Saw Cleaver, a Hunter Axe and a Whip Cane. Well the cane was balls to use, and did fuck all damage, no matter how cool it looked with Fire/Bolt paper.

So he grabbed the Saw Cleaver, the axe was good and all but he always used it. He grabbed the Pistol because the Blunderbuss took to long for fire for a clench-parry. Taking a few moments to swing the Saw around he nodded to himself, admiring just how much more visceral it looked in person, the thin chains wrapped around the saw were clean, for now, and had a deadly shine to them, the teeth of the saw were honed and ready to shred flesh.

Aiming down the pistol he nodded to himself, seemed pretty standard, he _could_ got talk to Gherman, but fuck Gherman. He was uninteresting. The doll was 'asleep' as he liked to put it, at the moment so she wasn't exactly ready for stellar conversation.

 **Yharnam Streets.**

Menma appeared back into the waking world, he knew where he wanted to go, if his magic worked he could Dash much easier through the streets, though this would end up with him being a bit weaker than he would want to be when fighting Cleric Beast, then again...Magic.

Arcane _was_ a skill tree, but it pertained to the items of the Old Ones, or whatever they were fuckin' called. He barely paid attention to the story, it was just...Less, than the Souls' series. Even Dark Souls 2, and before Scholar of the First Sin that was pretty fucking bad.

It still was pretty average, but it was an improvement.

Flicking the Saw Cleaver out to its extended form he casually glided down through the uppers levels, one beast man attempted to spook him behind some barrels but Menma shot him in the face, though instead of being open for a riposte his head just exploded.

Menma looked at the body, then the gun before he noticed he had no Quicksilver bullets. "HA! Fuck you Fromsoft, your shitty guns have a use now. Thank you magic." He praised his blood for carrying what it did, smirking as the echos of his foe sunk into his body.

"This'll make _everything_ easier. Probably. Maybe not Logarias, that _mother_ _ **fucker**_." He cursed his initial introduction to the Martyr, what a cunt he was to fight.

Switching to the cleaver to see how well it ripped and shredded Menma cut right through the skull of a sitting man, shot the wooden shield off another mans arm, before tearing from its fleshy resting place and right through the chest of the now unarmed man.

"Oh wow, no wonder the hunter's are always so chill. This is pretty fun." He admitted, a bloody grin on his face, his clothes already decorated with the life essence of the beast men. Traipsing down the stairs he backstepped to avoid being impaled on a pitchfork, and slashed with his cleaver, head leaving shoulder after the action, with a powerful pull the body spewed and gushed out blood, Menma kicked the headless corpse into a Torch Bearer, said torch fell upon the man setting him and the corpse alight.

Menma quickly headed off the final members of this familiar patrol, kicking off a wall and booting one in the head making him stumble into the other, and whilst in air he released a triplet of shots, they burrowed through the two men easily, splattering gore and viscera all over the pavement.

Menma landed hooked his cleaver onto his belt and brushed himself off, "I look fancy as fuck right now." He mused, smiling to himself as he pulled a shortcut lever.

"I have no idea how many Echoes I have right now...And I can't rightly check on the HUD. Fucking hell Miyazaki why didn't you consider the fact that someone might end up if this little C'thulian wet dream of yours." He grunted, returning the way he came, though instead of walking up the stairs he kept on the path, shooting a sitting rifleman in the head, splattering brains on the wall, dashing to the side he slid onto the ground and swept the legs of a pitchfork bearer out from under him, keeping the spin going he whipped out his cleaver and ripped through the now corpse of a torch bearer.

Abruptly coming to a halt he stomped the head in of the downed beastman, sighing Menma realized, "Really? Change it all but my shoes? Someone's going to pay for these." Looking at the bloodsoaked Kustom's he frowned, those stains weren't coming out, Menma sighed and just said 'fuck it' unloading azure bullet-shaped hell upon all those in the square, not bothering to play safe anymore, he had the power to rip their assholes open and vigorously fuck them to death with his gun, he was going to exploit this fact.

The tide of echoes that washed over him when everything was reduced to soggy piles made him shiver, he sighed out a heated cloud of breath that, even being near the flaming corpses and pyres, came out like mist.

"This is a good place. I enjoy it thoroughly." He smirked darkly, taking in all the gore and splatters of blood, making his way through to the next area, though instead of walking around the set path towards the bridge, past the fountain, Menma broke away a collection of old wooden coffins and came through a shortcut back towards the Lamp, the rabid dogs lashed out at him, though they were caged he wasn't dumb enough to ignore them.

Several shots later he was walking through a pitch black house, a cutlass bearer attempted to run him through, Menma slid to the left and cut his head clean off with his cleaver, ignoring the wheelchair man for the moment and continuing through the house, shooting a torch bearer in the back of the head and making his way back up to the lamp, opening the gate to keep the shortcut open.

Placing his weapons down for a moment he gathered his breath, he wasn't exactly puffed, he just needed a moment to digest this all. How did he get out? Did have to finish and accept Gherman's offer of death? Or become the new host of the nightmare in the old man's place? OR become the new god?

He was doing that.

Dude imagine what kind of weird shit he could do with all those tentacles, are you kidding me right now! Who wouldn't. Sure it'd be kinda rapey showing up to some brothel with tentacles for hair, but meh. Bitches man, bitches.

Whatever, it was all in good fun anyway. He could be talking to Gilbert right now, but he didn't care to talk to a dude that gave him info on shit he already knew. He was going to die anyway, Menma didn't care.

Grabbing his weapons Menma figured now was as good a time as any to make the run for the Hunter's Set in the sewer under the bridge, possibly a suicide run but meh, didn't matter. if all else failed he'd run up past the pig. That'd work.

Then he'd activate the boulder and kill of the civilian men on the bridge up top, after the brick-man and the shield bearer, Menma smiled lightly to himself, nodding, hitching his weapons onto his belt and stretching out, cracking any tight joints and then proceeding to bolt like a mother fucker.

He ran back down the stairs, through the dark house, past a few of the men inside there, he blasted the man standing atop the staircase leading from that house onto the bridge in the chest with a raw mana strike, he split directly across the middle, it was awesome, past the wolves who would chase him to hell and back.

Menma, instead of making a right into the sewer took a sharp left and hid himself behind the wall, he was currently overlooking the courtyard with the flaming pyre in the centre, waiting patiently he head the huffing pants of the two werewolves, the smelt his trail and turned, but Menma gave a quick jump over both of them, giving a powerful kick to the back of one, sending it over the edge and impaling it on the metal fencing of the courtyard, and then filling the other with holes, blood coating the pavement like a fresh layer of red paint.

He smirked and chuckled, blowing his flintlock's barrel and sliding it into its holster. "I love the fact that a sprinklin' of magic and bam, the logic of this gun is fucking over." With a shrug he walked back towards his original goal, a set of new armour.

Hopping down towards the lower levels of the wooden planks that supported ladders up to the top Menma soon found himself on the stone upper level of the sewers, rats running around underneath him and wolf-men patrolling paths.

Menma shrugged helplessly, oh woe was he.

But real talk those spike carrying motherfuckers could eat a dick. They were so scrawny if you got to close you couldn't parry their attacks, it was fucking bullshit. Menma snuck up on the nearest wolfman, one carrying some kind of rake thing, he rose his hand up, it pinged silver and he drove it down his prey's back, the signature _thum_ sound that meant a riposte was about to take place sounded, Menma drove his arm right through the beast man showing the creature its own heart and covering his lovely suit in crimson life essence, Menma felt the red haze descend.

He kicked the wolfman off his arm and immediately turned, hearing footsteps, a spike bearer ready to impale him, Menma grabbed the spike, holding it and pausing any attack, he leveled his gun at the face of his prey and smile through his bloody visage before pulling the trigger, before the body even fell he was off to the next one, doing another wall run/kick off maneuver and roundhousing it off the side, its bones snapped and cracked loudly, the rats descended upon it, feasting on the new flesh.

Menma leapt down, landing on a wooden beam, grabbing the item before hopping to the next one, and finally descending to the lowest section of this part, a final wolfman stood over the corpse that bore his new clothing, Menma pulled his spike out of his hands and impaled him by the neck to the wall, it gurgled and bubbled, choking on its own blood. Menma grinned widely at the beastman, what little spark of sanity that was left allowed pure, primal terror to flood its face.

"I could watch that all day." He said, the haze lifting and a deadly calm setting back in, Menma grabbed the item, in his hand it seeming materialized a full set of clean clothes, seeing everything around him was passive as possible he disrobed and changed.

After a short time he was brushing himself off, the new clothes fitting snugly and comfortably, Menma smirked darkly, pulling up the face mask and slipping his new hat on, the attire was mostly grey with a black length of leather-cloth that formed his collar, a small chain keeping it together, a brown belt across his chest with a loop for his flintlock, the coat fell to his knees, the gloves having a thin layer of metal plating over the forearm, he even got a nifty little pocket watch.

He loved pocket watches.

And the _boots!_ Oh they felt like walking on heaven.

Smiling underneath his mask Menma altered his plan, slightly spying a familiar ladder across a stretch of legless corpses that led to a particularly saddening NPC, the little girl in the house. Oh she was getting the fuck saved out of her. He was gonna save her so hard even her descendants would know his fuckin' name.

That was a weird mental image.

Shaking his head Menma dropped down onto one of the two beams connecting one side of the wall to the other of the lowest section of the entire sewer, Menma landed in the ankle deep waste water with a splash thankfully these weird creatures were passive until you touched that item, and even then a few of them just flat out didn't respond.

That how it was at home anyway, RNG-eesus was probably on his side.

Menma strode across and climbed up the ladder, pulling himself up onto the wooden platform, before looking at just how high the next climb was and shaking his head, before climbing up, talking to himself all the way. "Motherfucking Yharnamites and their needlessly long ladders...Though I suppose being that high out of the sewers reach is a good idea...Oh hey! Double bonus there's a Madman's Knowledge up here, soon Doll. Soon." His eyes narrowing as a grin grew upon his lips. He'd probably find he had a few more issues than he assumed since he was so set on fucking what was essentially an inainmate object, but meh.

The dream was tailored to the Hunter's needs. And he needed some pussy. Or he'd go fucking mental. He couldn't even sleep properly without cumming at least once, it fucking sucked until he started fucking almost every lonely woman in Kuoh City, because jerking off could only do so much.

Too much information? Too bad, he had no one else to talk to so you were fucking it.

"HA! Take that brain." He commented smugly, "And take this you fucking ladder!" Menma pulled himself up and got off the ladder, brushing himself off whilst leveling his pistol at the deformed crows around the Madman's Knowledge, "Bang." He said with a smirk as he pulled the trigger 4 times, one for each of those fat little birds.

Seriously though, what the fuck happened to these things? Menma paused for a moment remembering the dog-crows and crow-dogs of Mensis' Nightmare, "Ah...Fuckin' tits..." He grumbled he'd rather hang out with the cage head, Micolash than those freaky fuckers.

Abyss he wanted to shoot that guy.

Picking up the item it turned into a skull with a few dancing lights visible from the large gaping hole in the forehead, Menma crushed it between both of his palms and his eyes went completely white as the universe seemed to open up to him, every star, every sun, every planet, he felt it all.

And so he did what someone who was having an overload would do.

He screamed bloody fucking murder.

Clutching his head he screamed and screamed, his head being filled with sanity and insanity, fact and fiction, everything he wished to know and everything he never wanted to see, everything good, and the truly fucking horrible.

Menma collapsed onto his knees, in what felt like an eternity, it was over, he pulled off his hat, pulled down his mask and greedily sucked in breath, sweat dripping from his brow, "Tha..." He barely managed to get a word out before he felt a large seizing in his stomach, the words dying in place of a strangle gurgle.

Falling onto his stomach, his leg or arm occasionally twitching from the shock, Menma panted. Those fucking creatures...They looked a _million_ times worse when you could feel their tendrils crawling through your cranium.

And then it all stopped, no more pain, no more hot flush or anything of the like. Menma managed to shakily get to his feet, rubbing his forehead with his gloved hand, placing his hat back on but keeping the mask down for the minute, he did still feel a bit queasy.

"I feel the need to say 'Not even once'. But I just failed that meme, so...Fuck...I can't think of a mildly clever reference." He grumbled, one hand in his pocket whilst the other was loosely holding his gun, a big guy holding a statue roared at him.

" **You killed her** _ **!**_ " It shouted, Menm ahad already heard this line of dialogue before, so he was well aware as to the fact it wasn't referring to the little girl, though it was an interesting little tidbit to hear if you fucked up and gave the older sister the bloodied ribbon.

She'd kill herself. For those who didn't know. The nightmare would drive her over the edge and she'd just hop right off that ledge and splat right onto the ground.

Menma was in no mood to be bothered by monsters at the moment, the big fella ran towards him, only for a flintlock muzzle to be shoved into his mouth, and the trigger to be pulled, Menma barely acknowledged it, his mind elsewhere really.

Like the fucking COSMOS.

But seriously. Shit was whack. And that one _one_ Insight.

"Hello..?" Came a little voice, he hadn't even noticed he was at this house, he was too preoccupied with all the thoughts whizzing around his head and opening the shortcut, "A-are you a Hunter?" She asked curiously behind the incense shrouded window Menma could see the shadow of a small humans head.

"Yep." Answered Menma walking over to the window and crouching down waving to the shadow who did so in return, a little hesitantly, "What can I do for you little miss?" He asked, a light smile on his face.

"I thought so..." She added as an afterthought, "You smell like father, all...Musky. Mother said that was the word, musky." The little girl's hand rose to her cheek, her shadow showing she was tapping the side of her temple, Menma smiled amusedly at the little tick.

"Did you need something, darling?" He asked once more, gently. Fuck you he was being nice as hell to this little girl.

"Oh! Yes! Have you seen my mother? She wears a lovely dress and a big red broach, you can't miss it. She went to find father, but left without his music box...Silly mother." Menma winced slightly at the fondness in the little girls voice.

"I'll do my best, dear." He said with smile, she gasped in joy, "What way did your parents go?" Of course he already knew but it wouldn't do for him to just show up and say 'Yo mum is dead as fuck' without at least pretending to look.

"Father went to the big graveyard across the bridge, he looked a lot more irritable than usual. I don't want daddy to be hurt because he was angry." The girl worried, a retarded, blind, deaf infant could see/hear that.

"I'll find your daddy for you sweetheart, and I'll do my best to find your mother." He promised once more she gasped in joy and bounced, her short bob-cut bouncing as she did.

"Oh thank you thank you Mr. Hunter! I love you just as much as Mother, and Father...And Grandfather!' She sung his praises and continued bouncing from one foot to another, hope in her little frame positively shining through.

Good god the aftermath of all this was going to be a fucking nightmare.

Ya'know more than what he already technically in.

"Now, make sure you stay inside and only open the door to myself, your mother or your father. Understand sweetheart?" He said, she nodded quickly moving away from the window, the sound of a heavy lock being forced closed.

Menma didn't trust the idea of her so called 'sister'. Something about her just rubbed him the wrong way, he'd have to confirm with Gascoigne.

Menma nodded to himself, he was going to return to the dream to pick up an item for just such an occasion.

 **Hunter's Dream**

Menma picked himself up off the cobblestone pathway of the dream, a little Messenger holding an item for him at the steps, but he ignored the cute little creature for the moment, his attention focused on the 'Plain Doll'.

Plain. Sure.

She was tall, pale, with bright yellow-green eyes, white hair and even lashes. She was boner inducing up close, far from fucking 'Plain'. If you've played the game, you'd already know what she looked like, he was too busy sticking his tongue down her throat.

Yeah, he moved fast. Wasup?

Doll's eyes widened as the Good Hunter approached her with a strong stride, she was about to greet him as she had so many others, only for him to wrap an arm around her hip and their lips to collide, Doll was more than aware at the strange changes to her body that had taken place, for one she dind't have nipples before, or a...Place.

Feeling the unparalleled warmth of the Good Hunter, Doll placed her hands on his chest and reciprocated the gesture as best she could. Doing so seemed to fuel the Good Hunter further, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her close, it felt like a fire was in Doll's chest.

Menma was having a fucking ball. Who knew being a sexual deviant could make such a massive change? Then again, by the power of boners anything can be accomplished.

The little Messenger covered its face as the kissing began to evolve into a little more.

 **End of Chapter**

 **No waifu, no laifu.**

 **XD**

 _ **Raxychaz!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**'Troubled Childhood'**

 **7920 Blood Echoes**

 **Saw Cleaver - Rank 0**  
 **Hunter Pistol - Rank 0**

 **Hunter Garb - full set - Rank 0**

 **Bloodvials - 19**  
 **Quicksilver Bullets - Infinite**

 **Vit: 9**  
 **End: 14**  
 **Str: 9**  
 **Skill: 13**  
 **Bldtnge: 6**  
 **Arc: 9**

 **As of last chapter.**

 **I'm playing through again at the same time to make this as close as possible.**

Menma stretched out as Doll fixed her clothes, "That was...Interesting, Good Hunter." She said softly, oh Doll, no need to be so bashful. The Hunter chuckled and leant down placing a kiss on her cheek, idly noting the warmth of her 'skin'.

"Interesting is one word for it, my dear." He grinned as her porcelain cheeks seems to grow red, either that or he was tripping balls. "Can I ask you to 'embolden my sickly spirit'?" She looked up at him and smiled gently, taking one of his hands into both of hers, a bloody coloured light surrounding his hand as he knelt.

A chart filled his vision, " _Troubled Childhood? Fuck you game._ " He grumbled in his mind, " _Alright let's get this shirt sorted out..._ " Fiddling with his stats he beefed up his low 'Strength' stat to 13, and putting his last 2 points into Vitality. Odd that he only had about 8000, he figured the amount of murder he'd done would give him more. Whatever.

He did notice instead of the usual like 400-ish Beasthood his was at like 600. That was both interesting and worrysome, 'cus people tend to go a little fucking bonkers when they go beast. Speaking of beasts holy shit he had to get to Gascoigne like _now_.

As he was done the Doll moved her hand away and he felt his body flush with heat, nothing like when he dropped Insight like it was fucking acid, quite pleasant actually. Standing up he flexed his hands into and out of, fists. His arms had the pleasant heat that came with either working out or just using them for some extended period of time.

"That...Felt pretty great." He admitted aloud, Doll just kept smiling fondly at him. He fixed his hat, his mask still down, before leaning over and putting his face in hers, "Do I get a kiss before I leave?" He asked with a grin, Doll laughed softly, into her hand before cupping his cheeks and layin' one on him. She had really soft lips for something that was apparently just some toy for a weird old man.

'You're welcome to use whatever you find...Even the doll should it please you.'

Right Gherman, that wasn't the weirdest fucking thing you could ever possibly say. You strange old man you.

Menma enjoyed the sensation of her lips for but a moment longer before leaning away, she blinked rapidly at the abrupt parting, "I'll see you again soon, my dear." Instead of vacating the dream though he stepped back towards the Workshop the same little Messenger from before offering him the Beckoning Bell and the Silencing Blank, Menma smiled down at the little creature and plucked the items from its hands, immediately they vanished into his inventory.

Opening the doors to the Workshop, Menma spotted Ol' Gherman in his chair, cane in hand and leaning forward to greet him, "Ah, Hunter. Welcome to the Dream, this will be your home for now." He greeted, a smile on his wizened face, "I am...Oh dear what was it again...Gherman!" Poor old bastard, this place had really done a number on him after all these years. Whilst Menma thought he was weird and possibly just straight up deranged, he did pity Gherman.

"I'm sure you're in a fine haze about now, but don't think too hard on it. Just go and...Kill a few beasts, it's just what Hunter's do, ya'know?"

"It's not so hard." Said Menma, placing his Saw Cleaver onto the Workshop desk just right of the old man, producing three bloodstones to upgrade it, "I'm used to a little blood. Though the people around here are real gushers." Menma waved Gherman off as his weapon shined a bright red for a moment, the Bloodstones a sufficient sacrifice for its enhancement. All the scuffs and chips gone and the blades sharpened ever so slightly.

"Well that was a little underwhelming." Admitted Menma, though he didn't know what he expected. Hitching the weapon back onto his belt he turned to see a frowning Gherman.

"People?" He questioned.

"Well yeah, isn't that how the Beast Plague works? Make's people into beasts. Hunters kill beasts, cycle goes on. I don't really mind it, haphazard murder is one of my favourite pastimes." Gherman shot him a surprised look but he waved him off, "Not of normal people, don't soil your fuckin' britches ol' man." Menma dismissed as he walked out of the Workshop waving over his shoulder. "Ja Ne."

 **Central Yharnam**

Menma rose from the dream, patting the heads of a few of the Messenger's lingering about the Lamp, a few did a little dance as he did, thoroughly amusing him. Menma walked back down to the shortcut catching the axe of the torchbearer who tried to split him in two, with a twist he tore it free of the beastman's grip and smashed his skull in with the blunt side, brains and blood splattering across Menma's clothes, he didn't bother to brush it off.

There was a small well of light next to him, that was Gascoigne's summon spot, but Menma didn't want a phantom, he had to reach the real man, and had to do it fast. Menma broke off into a sprint racing through the infested house, dodging past the man atop the stairs leading to the bridge, bypassing the two werewolves and turning left, speeding through the courtyard he was greeted by the patrol of beastmen, with a growl his arm glowed a brilliant azure.

"I don't have time for you idiots!" He roared, " **Fist!** " A giant ethereal blue fist copied his punch splattering the two torchbearers, a sickle wielder and a gunman, even one of those fucking dogs, Menma slid through the blood and used the leverage from the slide to jump across a rooftop and land next to the little girls window without a word he continued pass, dropping onto the Ogre-like man and snapping his neck, from there it was a simple matter of going down the ladder, going through the sewers, past the pig and picking up the Saw Hunter's Badge.

With that done he also grabbed the Cold Blood Dew nearby and the trio of Bloodvials dropped by the big bacon, before climbing up yet another outrageously tall ladder and making his way to the Tomb.

 **Tomb of Oedon**

"Dear...Please remember the man you are, the man I love!" Plead a blond haired woman with tan skin, sporting a lovely red dress and a large red broach around her slim neck, her hair was tied into a simple ponytail revealing her beautiful face to the moonlight bathed tomb.

All around the pair was a veritable slaughterfest of the smaller beastmen. Gascoigne's cloth covered eyes only seeing another beast to be slain. "Oi fuckboi!" Shouted a voice unfamiliar to the Father's ears, Gascoigne turned to see a fist strike his face knocking him on his ass.

"Your daughter sent me." Said the grey clad hunter, his arms crossed as his orange-yellow eyes stared down at the old man, his long coat now stained with the blood of those he'd kill to an even greater extent. Gascoigne growled out a guttural snarl only for a familiar tinkling to reach his ears, the music box. A rush of sense hit him like a freight train, daughters, wife, family.

"Ugh..." Groaned the church man, before he 'looked' up at his wife, Menma didn't actually want to find out if he'd torn out his eyes or not, "Oh Viola...I am so sorry..." He whispered pulling his wife towards him and begging forgiveness.

"Thank you Hunter." Viola looked up at Menma with a gentle smile, the Hunter merely nodded. "You said our daughters sent you?" She asked softly, curious.

"Daughter." Corrected Menma, "I only met the little one. The, I assume older, one wasn't in the house, shall I retrieve them. Go to the chapel, it'll help big and brooding here." Menma placed the music box on a nearby tombstone before leaving the befuddled couple alone

 **Central Yharnam**

Menma knocked at the little girls window, her shadow almost instantly appearing, "Guess who saved your parents?" He asked with a chime she squealed in joy before a second shadow appeared next to her, taller than her.

"Who are you?" She demanded, Menma frowned slightly, "How do you know our parents?"

"I'm a Hunter, my name is Menma. The little one here asked me to find Viola and Gascoigne, your father was a little...Twitchier, than usual but the music box helped him stay calm. They're waiting at Oedon Chapel, I came here to take you guys there as the city isn't exactly safe at the moment." Explained Menma.

"Come sister, Father and Mother are waiting for us!" Urged the younger one. Already at the door, Menma slipped around the side to double check for any beasts, an Ogre had respawned making his eyes narrow, he pulled out his gun and filled it with holes to prevent it from harming the children. The little one came out first, leaping to his side and hugging his waist.

"Oh thank you Mr. Menma. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Menma pat her head and pulled the girl onto his shoulders, "C'mon I cleared the way mostly, but you should still stick close." He offered his hand to the older girl, she uneasily took it. Menma tried to come across as some non-rapey weirdo who showed up at their house and whisked them away, but that may or may not have worked.

Instead of turning back towards the sewers he went towards the shortcut with the caged dogs, several gunshots silenced the beasts before they could flee their cages, he hopped down onto the lower level and held his arms out for the older sister, she nervously jumped to him and he caught her, "So, care to share your names?" He asked, setting her down and taking her hand once more.

"Vienna." Said the older sister, she held to his arm fiercely to avoid the dog corpses as though they would jump back up and lash out at her, Menma put a hand on her shoulder and tried to comfort her, he wasn't good with kids to begin with, so he was doing what he'd seen a few parents in his life do.

"My name is Collette." Chimed the little sister happily, idly playing with his hat, and subsequently, his hair. "How come your hair is so strange, Mr. Menma?" She asked curiously, Menma smiled lightly before stepping down to the under-bridge of Yharnam, where the two Ogre's patrolled, ushering Vienna along and striking the two beasts down with his gun Menma made sure they were dead before pressing on, the elevator awaiting them.

"Where I'm from it's not so strange, Collette. Then again, where I'm from my Grandfather and myself are able to create almost anything from magic with a wave of our hands, so that's probably not saying much." The little girl gasped, his hat upon her head as she did so.

"You can do magic!?" She asked, wonderstruck.

"Father said magic isn't real." Mumbled Vienna, obviously the more weary of the two considering she could understand the significance of traveling around Yharnam during a Hunt. Nothing good ever came of it.

"I can." Said Menma with a smug smirk, the large group of beastmen on the bridge spotted him, Menma quickly placed the girls behind him and stepped forward to meet them, cracking his knuckles Menma's arms glowed a brilliant azure, " **Hammer Punch!** " Knotting his fingers together he created the ethereal arms to smash the large group into paste, the flaming boulder following after them, Menma merely unlaced his fingers and summoned a **Fist** to grasp the rolling flaming rock before throwing it off the side of the bridge, though he did notice a flush of numerous blood echoes and almost questioned this but decided it best not to.

Producing his Pistol in a flourish he filled both the shield man and the Ogre with bullets their bodies smears on the walls and ground, twirling it about his fingers Menma slid the gun back into his chest-loop before turning back to the girls with a smirk, "See. Magic."

 **Oedon Chapel**

With a heave Menma opened the doors, finding it reasonable for Gascoigne or Viola to have shut them after entering, considering what was below this damned place, "Mother, Father!" Shouted the smallest girl with a squeal ducking between the gap of the opening doors and lunged at the two parents with an ecstatic laugh. Vienna popping through after Menma, the scent of the incense hitting her nose making her wince, but she shrugged if off at the welcomed sight of her parents.

Menma watched the family reunite for a moment before flicking the lamp on, Messengers popping out of the ground to greet him. " _Smells Like Moon~!_ " Droned one of the creatures, Menma gave it a strange look at it waved its arms about merrily, proclaiming about how something smelt like the moon. Lovely. They were growing stupid.

"Well. I'm going to go Kill the Cleric Beast. Because I need the echoes...Then I'll come back here with the Captains Emblem and use that to get to Amelia..." He thought aloud, idly rolling ideas or optimal paths around in his head, he never understood how people had trouble with Amelia, she was pretty easy. Admittedly she did have a few bullshit moves, but then again they weren't _impossible_ to deal with, just annoying.

"Hunter..." Said Gascoigne, his vaguely French influenced sounding voice filling the silence that had descended upon the Chapel, the dweller sitting in his place happily, enjoying the sound of happiness that was so rare on Hunt nights. "I cannot thank you enough, for all you've done for my family...If there's anything I can do for you. Please tell me, and I will do all I can." Swore the man, a smile on his face, offering the other man a hand.

Menma smirked and accepted the hand, "No problem, I can't stand the sight of sad kids anyway. But I suggest _you_ carry the Music Box from now on, ya know for...Reasons." Gascoigne nodded along with the suggestion, "I don't know how the Blood works for others, but I suggest a long vacation from the Hunts, try to remain around incense and keep calm. See if anything like that can help stem the heat in your veins."

"Oh believe me, Hunter. That was my plan." Said the man with a nod, "...I haven't got your name, apologies."

"None needed, I don't really mind. Menma Uzumaki, foreigner." Gascoigne smirked at that, tipping the brim on his hat slightly "Anyway, I'm going to return to the Dream, you'll probably see me going through here a few dozen times. I'll see you," He turned to the dweller with a pointed finger the skittish little man turning instantly at the gesture, though he was blind, the ruffling of cloth and the directness of the voice drew his 'gaze', "Later, my short friend." The dweller gave a hope-filled, toothless smile as Menma faded out of the world and back into the Dream. As he did so though he got the...

 **Prey Slaughtered**

Message, Menma paused for a moment before he saw echoes flood out of Gascoigne and into himself, perhaps since he was laying down his Hunter's hat for good his power found a new host? Or maybe he technically did 'defeat' him in terms of the game? It was still a very welcomed addition to his growing swarm of Echoes. But he shook his head and returned to the Dream, he'd ponder this later.

"He left his hat." Said Collette, before looking at the hat like it was gift from above, "Is it my hat now!?" She asked, wonderstruck, Viola laughing gently at her youngest. Gascoigne took a moment to count his lucky stars that his family was back together once more, and he felt like he had more control of himself than ever, this place really _was_ the best place to be at the moment.

 **Hunter's Dream**

Menma felt the haze of the dream fall upon him once more as his corporeal form manifested within it, stretching out he yawned slightly, "Time for a nap I think." He said with a nod, he sidled up aside the Doll who was almost instantly attentive at his touch, "Howdy darlin'." He greeted in a faux accent, her nose wrinkled in amusement at this.

"Welcome home, Good Hunter." She returned with a fond gaze, "How has your Hunt gone?" She asked.

"Meh, I stopped Gascoigne from goin' crazy, saved his wife. Took his daughters to the Oedon Chapel, I'm pretty fuckin' great." Menma smirked as she gazed at him with wide eyes, none of the Hunter's had ever accomplished such a feat before.

"How did you do this, Good Hunter?" She asked, insatiably curious.

"Oh I didn't kill the Cleric Beast so I had enough time to rush over there before he killed his wife, I just used the Music Box and a solid punch to the face to knock him out of it." Doll looked at him incredulously, "I'm completely serious." He assured, Menma offered her his hand, "If I may, my dear."

Doll nodded, taking his hand into her lap, the familiar tempest of red-white energy forming around his hand, Menma's vision was once more flooded with the stat screen, " _Alright, 4 in Vitality and 2 In Arcane, I needa see if that's gonna be a big help later or not._ " As Menma took his hand away he did feel a small ripple deep within his own being, his Mana Pool had expanded slightly, that was good. He didn't really show it but that display on the bridge took more effort than it should have. Nothing serious but he did notice slight strain and he'd rather not have to deal with that.

Though upside, he didn't feel tired anymore, most likely the Vitality, Menma really didn't care to be honest. Because he had a little lust build up and he wanted that dealt with. With a grin he leant over and pinned Doll hungry orange-yellow meeting pale yellow-green.

"Oh Good Hunter." She admonished softly without any real resistance, Menma chuckled.

 **Central Yharnam**

Menma sighed as he once again had to make the same trek through the house, the bridge and all that BS. It wasn't even that bad he just wanted to complain, like a bitch.

"Fuck you brain, I heard that!" He shouted towards the sky whilst decapitating the same torchbearer he'd already killed a handful of times, "I'll fuck you up mate one v one me!" He challenged, only for silence to greet him, "That's what I fuckin' thought."

Weirdo.

Shooting the cutlassmen in the chest Menma did the same for the two beastmen up stairs before 'super kicking' the man atop the stairs to the bridge, he flew over the bridge and landed with a thunderous _splt_ against one of the houses, chuckling Menma took a left instead of a right, shooting the crows and sliding to avoid the Ogre's shoulder barge, rising his hand up he struck the Ogre's exposed back with his Saw Cleaver, flesh splitting open easily under his attack, the familiar _thrum_ exploded through the air as Menma tore out the giants beasts heart through the back of its chest.

Wiping off his glove as best he could Menma flicked out his Saw Cleaver to his longer mode and stepped through the archway, the familiar shrill screech of the Cleric Beast filled his ears, Insight hitting him as he saw it for the first time this time it was little more than a mild sting in his head, rather than a cosmic explosion in his brain.

It roared at him, its' one giant arm already making way to grab him, Menma backstepped before jumping, running up the arm and delivering a brutal kick accommodated by two azure bullets to the face, the Cleric Beast stumbled forward, as he landed Menma's fingers were coated in an blue glow, he pulled one of its horns with such force that it ruptured a good portion of its face, the beast batted him away as it screamed in unimaginable pain, Menma's back hit the side of the arch from the force of the flailing strike, grunting he produced a Bloodvial and stabbed it into his thigh, hissing at the unfamiliar pain as a healing current of blood darted through his veins.

Tossing the empty injector-vial aside he charged forward, the beast swinging at him with his larger arm again, sliding right down to the ground he went under it and used the speed of the slid to help him back to his feet with a sudden stop, a trio of Saw Cleaver slashes was all he got but the gushing of blood from the beast made it quite worth it, he took the quick, weak turnaround strike in stride and met it with another two deep gashed, the blood from the wounds leaping to his body and mending his wounds.

Now the Regain system made way more sense.

Hopping back a few feet he watched as the beast was shrouded in a flux of red, he smirked. " _This fucking idiot, mending your wounds enough so I can do another riposte? Ah, dumb AI how I love you._ " Menma leveled his pistol at the creature and fired off a duet of bullets it stumbled slightly, enough to interrupt whatever it was doing, so he fired another quartet the creature screamed at him, as though saying 'Stop it!'.

So Menma shot it again, this time with 8 bullets.

The creature was less than pleased, so it leapt at him, its largest arm ready to crush his body, Menma laughed and slid back before jumping forward, meeting it eye to eye, "I win." He said, his right arm glowing a briliant blue, " **Fist!** " Due to how heavily weakened the beast was, and how thoroughly the bullets had softened up its meaty form, it was crushed into paste from the giant blue fist.

Menma landed as what remained of the Cleric Beast exploded into a shower of blood, crimson began raining from the sky as a lamp rose from the ground behind him. And a badge falling into his open hand, "Sword Hunter's Badge." He said, idly looking the amulet-badge over, "Maybe I should start wearing these, put 'em on my belt or somethin'." He said idly, shrugging as he undid the clasp and clipped it around his belt, "Now if I remember, that only gives you something like...6-ish thousand souls I mean...Echoes." He looked from side to side conspiratorially. Smirking as he was probably the only person for thousands of kilometers that would even get that joke.

Menma shook his head and returned to the Dream, he had a few more things he could do around Cathedral Ward before he would go after the Bloodstarved Beast or Amelia. He idly wondered if he should just straigh up fuck the shit out of Amelia, that'd be funny, sexing up a Nun and then having to fight her bestial state.

Ahh, good times ahead.

Jumping from the Dream to the Cathedral Menma left the chapel and turned into the left passage, before turning on his heel and narrowing his eyes at the locked door on the right side of the room, with a smirk he ran at it and kicked it open, the wooden doors buckling under the power of the strike, but not fully opening, "One more time." He said, walking back over to the opposite side of the room.

"What are you doing Mr. Menma?" Asked Vienna, the only one of the onlooking group to ask, Menma rolled his shoulders and stretched out his legs before answering.

"Behind that door is the Church Workshop, I and I want that Radiant Sword Hunter's badge, because Ludwig's Blade is best girl." Said the Sorcerer with a grin, before he charged headlong into the door and shoulder barged it right off its hinges. "VICTORY!" Menma began laughing as he jogged through the short hallway and activated the elevator to go up.

He immediately ran across the room as a man in a wheelchair tried to fill him with bullets from a minigun, holding an arm out to the support beam he turned and cut the mans head right off, along with a good portion of his chair. 4 Quicksilver bullets were his reward, Menma looked at the small slugs on his palm, before pocketing them, who knows if he got enough maybe he could make something useful out of them.

Popping open the nearby chest he found another Madman's Knowledge, "Oh joy...Here we go again." He muttered with a sigh, picking up the skull and looking at it.

" _Get some pussy whenever you can._ " Said the Skull, Menma blinked rapidly for a moment.

"I'm sorry what?" He asked.

" _You heard me faggot, get some poon whenever you can. Hunts can only get you off so much. Needa unload some baby batter up in sum'bitch._ " Menma gave the skull a strange look.

"I just...I can't even, with you right now." He shook his head and crushed the skull, once more only a dull headache instead of the hardcore parcour skullfuck from before. "What a fuckin' weirdo." He muttered shaking his head, stepping out and shooting two times, one for each of the snipers on the higher level, the man in the wheelchair and one for the man in the top hat. "The amount of times those shitlords have interrupted my flow, I swear to darkness..." Cursed the Uzumaki with a sigh, slashing across the chest of a cutlassman who tried to skewer him.

Sweet abyss he found the irony of 'shitlord' amusing. Stupid redheaded cunt screaming at the poor old beardo man. "If you want equal numbers, go apply for the job yourself you waste of human flesh." Though he did take a moment to backstep away from a sickle slash when entering the room ahead of him.

"Honestly. These plebs have such poor hand-eye-coordination it hurts my soul." He'd always been pretty good with things like that, sports was easy to pick up because of it but he just fucking hated people too much to do something with a large group for too long.

 **A nondescript length of time later**

Instead of returning to the Chapel Menma decided to get the Umbilical Chord piece now, save time in the long run. Though dropping down was the largest and fattest of bitches in the game, it wasn't nearly as retarded in the flesh, the Workshop looked just as it did in the dream though a little more raggedy. He opened the chest where the Messenger pool would usually be, only to sigh as he picked up all of Doll's clothes, "This is so weird." He muttered, and I mean really, there was the Doll's set, then there was another Doll in the workshop, so why did there need to be a backup set that could fit the player.

Strange people, that's why.

Fucking hell Miyazaki.

Git gud.

Menma entered the Workshop propper and grabbed the chord off the altar, "Well..." The tentacle covered in eyes, all of which were currently staring at him, "…" He made a disgusted face mixed with slight worry and apprehension. "I hate myself sometimes." Crushing it he felt everything go black for a moment.

Before him stood a giant monstrous creature, though unlike the moon presence it was fucking symetrical, thank darkness his need for things to be at least slightly even made that boss a struggle to get through, though it was funny watching other people get fucked over by the debuff of 1 HP it put you on, use regain you pussies. It stays still long enough.

Anyway, big tentacle thing.

It stood about twice his height, though was hunched over to stare at him, three orange eyes looking him over, it didn't have a 'face' so much as it just had eyes and a mouth the rest of its head looking like a flat black leather mask. Said mouth though, was filled with razor sharp shark-like teeth, tentacles whipping out as hair the top half of them abyss black whilst the underside was a silver-grey colour, two extra long, extra big ones of the same colour scheme coming from its shoulders, those ones had hooked barbs on the tips. It's arms were slim but long, similar but not exactly like the Moon Presence. Its torso wasn't exposed like its kin though, a pretty standard affair all things considered, its legs were kinda hunched like a frogs, but then again it was sitting down.

A long tentacle acting as a tail coming from its tailbone, this one had a pair of hooks growing from the top. Menma would not like to fight this thing, just from the sheer amount of reach it would have. It's eyes finished looked him over as it leant down to eye level with him, all three of those orbs blinking independently of one another as it tilted its head at him.

Menma gave an awkward wave, the creature pausing all for a moment before doing the same. "Alright. That's weird." Before it could respond in anyway though, it was gone. As was the dark, and he returned to the Workshop, unmoved from his previous position.

"I feel dirty." He said, rubbing his shoulders as an ethereal chill blew through his body. "I'll just grab this hair comb and get the fuck outta here." He grumbled, opening the cabinet next to the weapon table and grabbing the delicate dull-green hair comb for Doll. Turning around he touched the lamp and faded into the Dream, happy to be away from that big ass beast.

 **End Of Chapter**

 **For my Baby-Cakes. He knows. You all fucking know.**

 **No Homo.**

 _ **Raxychaz!**_


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